HUGHES AUDITORIUM – Students are still buzzing about the professionalism form that was given out publicly last Friday during plenary. The FSM curriculum leaders were undoubtedly trying to make an example of one idiot student who decided to satirize them and their new curriculum.

“What an awful idea, starting a satirical publication at a med school,” Albert Smith commented to Flipside reporters. “What did he expect after making fun of Feinberg?”

After the initial humiliation and weekend to think about it, Feinberg Flipside founder Fred Feinburg is considering a career change.

“Yeah, a satirical publication probably wasn’t the smartest thing in hindsight. With the deans now watching my every move and ready to handout professionalism forms, this whole medicine thing is probably coming to an end for me.”

Despite his recent troubles, Feinburg is optimistic about his credentials and future.

“Hey, I passed one exam and one block of PBL in med school, so at least I have that going for me.”

Feinburg was considering participating in Doctors Without Borders, until he realized you actually need an MD to do so.

“I’m considering starting my own practice. It’s called Doctors Without Diplomas. If there are patients out there who need their vital signs taken in a mediocre fashion or given advice about their diet or physical activity (the advice will consist mainly of telling them to walk to work), then we should do just fine.”

The legality of such a practice is something Feinburg has yet to figure out, although he did mention that he’s going to hire a law student, preferably one who also dropped out, to work on that.

“If Doctors Without Diplomas doesn’t work out,” added Feinburg, “I guess I could try pottery. I took a class on that once in college.”

***NOTE: First, no professionalism form was actually given. Second, I realize that the author of this article is interviewing himself. This is a strange thing to do, but I didn’t have a better way to do it and I need to go study now.