WARD BUILDING – In light of the pending AOSC fiscal cliff, the Augusta Webster Office of Medical Education has decided to hire the U.S. Congress to help solve the financial fiasco. As part of FSM 3.0, students are now required to do a summer research project. Students seem a little trepidatious about the new requirement.  M1 Cindy Winstead stated, “I think AOSC will look good on my CV, but I’m a little worried about going into more debt. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“We feel bad about making students go into more debt,” a spokesperson for AWOME told The Flipside. “We wanted to help the students out, so we asked ourselves, ‘Who is used to massive amounts of debt and has practice avoiding accountability for it?’ Naturally, the U.S. Congress was the first thing to come to mind.” Later this month both the House and the Senate will fly, first class of course, to Chicago and help AWOME find a solution for the flubbed AOSC funding.

M1 Tobias Trommler expressed his skepticism, “I don’t know. I just don’t know. I don’t think they’ll be able to pull it off. The cliff is too near and I think we’re doomed. I think our best bet is if they just cancel each other out. Kind of like on Jurassic Park. You know, when they’re getting chased by raptors and then the T-rex jumps in and eats the raptors? I just hope that AWOME and Congress can distract each other enough so that the rest of us can get away.”