CHICAGO – In the Robert H. Lurie Atrium Wednesday, Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine unveiled what is to become the next crown jewel of the Chicago campus – the Bentley and Bethany A. Brixberry Memorial Doorknob.  Faculty and students were teeming with excitement throughout the day in anticipation of the doorknob’s “inaugural shine.”  As seemingly confused building service workers left the doorknob sparkling, a rush of people descended upon memorial to snap a photo of the always glamorous Bethany Brixberry using it for the first time.

“I can’t believe I’m going to actually touch the Brixberry Knob every day on my way to class!” exclaimed a zealous M1.  “I mean, that’s……like…..SO AWESOME.  And in my white coat?! AHHH!”

The Brixberry Memorial Doorknob will take its rightful place amongst past gorgeous donations including:  The Wetherford Family Hand Rail, The Jameson C. Humphries Memorial Projector, and The Spendhauser Family Air Duct.

“I mean, this is right up there with a Wetherford, or a Humprhries!” exclaimed top administrators.

The Brixberry – as it’s already being called – has begun attracting groups of Chicago Segway tours to its illustrious shine.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous Bob.  Grab the Kodak and take a photo already! Kids…kids…..KIDS! Get away from that nice man sleeping in front of the cardboard sign!” stated an awestruck visitor to the knob.

While the legacy of the Brixberry Knob is yet to be seen, it is quite clear that it will be a staple amongst campus memorials for years to come.  The Brixberry has already been situated with a 24/7 team of security guards feverishly checking WildCards before granting access to the site.  “I’m just excited for what the future holds for Feinberg with the Brixberry in hand,” stated administrators.  The future prospects are certainly shiny.