WASHINGTON D.C. – In a press conference release Monday, Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner introduced his party’s plan to implement the controversial “Uterus Chokehold Bill”  in the increasing GOP effort to limit access to abortions nationwide.

“We figure, if you can’t fight it, fight it,” stated the Speaker – who is very excited for the bill’s foundational role in the GOP’s “pro life” platform moving forward.  “This is really ground-breaking stuff here, and we’re excited to hopefully see it implemented in states across the nation.”

The “Uterus Chokehold Bill,” as it’s already being called, would require doctors to make women jump through a 10 foot diameter ring of fire (while undergoing a mandated transvaginal ultrasound) among other requirements before being allowed the option for elective abortion of pregnancy.

“We really think the Chokehold will make women reconsider their choice to receive an abortion, and make the all-important decision for life,” GOP representatives told The Flipside earlier today.  The next few days on Capital Hill will certainly be breathtaking, as the House debates the many clauses of the Chokehold Bill.