CHICAGO — In a fitting follow up to their acclaimed, 1980s-themed charitable bash, Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari announced this morning a $10 million contribution to help launch the Northwestern University Antavax Research Institute.
“Jay and I have gotten a lot of…attention…lately regarding our choice not to vaccinate, and we’re looking to put our money where our mouth is! Antavax will be on the cutting edge of vaccine-undermining research!” Cavallari informed Flipside reporters.
Northwestern recently announced plans for the state-of-the-art, 20 story Antavax Institute building — set to replace the old Prentice Women’s Hospital. A competition among many high-power architecture firms to design Antavax’s shining exterior is set to begin in two months.
Northwestern officials sat down with Flipside reporters and were bubbling over the future potential of the impending Antavax Institute: “We here at Northwestern are truly excited to use the Cutler family’s generous donation to help get Antavax off the ground. With the removal of former Prentice Women’s Hospital in motion and Antavax soon to take its place, our medical campus is taking yet another step towards becoming one of the most innovative biomedical centers in the country!”
A main focus of Antavax will be concentrated in the Wakefield Wing, where MMR vaccines will be scrutinized for associations with autism, colitis, childhood obesity, extra-smelly poopy diapers, and general snarkiness as teenagers.
“The Antavax Institute will bring a level of research, innovation, and discovery to the area that will be just infectious!” Cavallari relayed to The Flipside.
At press time, Â the entire Cutler family was seen entering Lurie Children’s Hospital to visit with and raise the hopes of children awaiting bone marrow transplants.